A well know speaker was speaking in a seminar, a man came up and said ,”Sir I like what you’re saying. But every situation is so different. Look at my marriage. I’m really worried. My wife and I just don’t have the same felling for each other we used to have.I guess I just don’t love her anymore and she doesn’t love me. What can I do ?”
“The feeling isn’t there anymore?” The speaker asked.
“That’s right” the man said and reaffirmed “And we have three children we’re concerned about.What do you suggest ?”
“Love her” the speaker replied.
“I told you, the felling is just isn’t there anymore.”
“You don’t understand. The feeling of love just isn’t there.”
“Then love her. If the feeling isn’t there,that’s a good reason to love her.”
“But how do you love when you don’t love?”
“My friend, love is a verb. Love- the feeling – is a fruit of love, the verb.So love her, Sacrifice, Listen to her. Empathize, Appreciate, Respect her, Affirm her. Are you willing to do that?”
In the great literature of all progressive societies, love is a verb. Reactive people make it a feeling.They’re driven by feelings. Hollywood, has generally scripted us to believe that we are not responsible, that we are a product of feelings. but the Hollywood script does not describe the reality. If our feelings controls our actions, it is because we have abdicated our responsibility and empowered them to do so.
Proactive people make love a verb.Love is something you do: the sacrifice you make, the giving of self, like a mother bringing a new born into the world. If you want to study love, study those who sacrifice for others, even for people who offend or do not love in return. If you are parent, look at the love you have for the children you sacrificed for. Love is a value that is actualized through loving actions. Proactive people subordinate feelings to values. Love, the feeling, can be recaptured.
+++++++++++ Below mentioned lines is to make you understand what the above lines mean++++++++++++++
Proactive means taking the initiative, Proactive people take the initiative to do something . Reactive means who just follow the others, who are waiting for someone to take the initiative.
If you want to do something then you have to become a pro actor. If you want, the thing kept in front of you should be in your hand , then you have to take the initiative to go there and take it. But if you start saying hhmmmm or ommmmm(Om Shiv ji wala) , it will not start floating in the air and come near to you,—-noooooooo. You have to take the baby steps to reach out there and grab it in your hand.You have to be proactive .This rule applies to all of your dreams you have in your mind. Take the initiative and you will see the things are getting easier.
While writing this mail I remembered about one of my friend to whom I had shared this story. She wants to become a dancer and start her own dancing institute, she hasn’t shared this dream with anyone because no one cares about her feeling(She told this thing to me). She go to work, to earn money for there parents, sisters, brothers. “They never ask me what I want ?, they always demand for what they want . They never care for me, for my feelings and my Dreams.”
But my question is does she care about her Dreams? Does she doing something about it ?
She don’t even think of it now.Your parents, your family don’t even know about your dreams.It’s you who wants to do something, then who shall take the initiative. It’s you , you and every bit of you. You have a huge power inside, so go make your dream a reality.
There is a lot of difference between Dreams and Aims, Dreams require sleep whereas Aim require sleepless days and nights.So it’s time to convert your Dreams into Aims. Be proactive and not reactive. Do what you want to do before anyone do it in front of you. Then you will regret I should have done that. Hope you all understand what I want to say.
Good bye from now. Wishing you all a lovely and bright future.